Happy Holidays, and welcome to 2021, the Year of Healing (fingers crossed). In the spirit of that optimism, we are going to talk today about an essential ingredient of healing that I have been avoiding like the 2020 Plague: mockery.
For many years, I have believed that mockery of any kind is abusive, and any positive effects it might have can be achieved by actions of a more nurturing type. But this changed last month, after I was mocked by one of my friends. They did not intend it as mockery, and they were not aiming at me, but that was the way the cookie crumbled.
I’d had the mother of all existential crises brewing inside me for years, and that incident, combined with a cascade of others, forced me to face my inner Cthulhu. And in that confrontation, one of the things I have come to realize is that sometimes what feels like harm can actually be a blessing in disguise.
Some people mock because they want to hurt others. Some, because they feel insecure inside and want to feel momentarily superior (like me). Some mock because they want attention. Entertainment companies mock bluntly and offensively so that the shock keeps the dopamine dollars coming. But sometimes, on a precious occasion, you find someone who mocks out of love.
Mockery is like a hammer. Anyone can swing it around and break things, but it takes someone with skill and care to strike the nail. Mock someone in the wrong way, and they could end up in a worse place than they began, their fears and torment reinforced. But with just the right amount of delicate pushing, mockery can push someone over the hill of discomfort and into a place of healing.
If we can face a little bit of mockery, we will become more resilient to the bad kinds of mockery and more accepting of the good kind. When a bit of our silliness or cruelty is pointed out, if we are able to chuckle at it, it becomes smaller and easier to overcome. It does not have to be an act of self-hatred, as I have so long felt it to be, but can, in the right circumstances, be an act of self-love.
I want to become a person who can use mockery to learn and grow, and I think the best way to start is to practice on myself. After all, if I can avoid shattering the world’s most fragile snowflake, that’s a sure sign I’ll be good with anyone.
Mockery is anti-social, mean-spirited, and wrong. It always reflects poorly on the mocker, who has poor social skills. Without offering its own thoughtful argument, it tramples on those things that a person believes to be most worthy of veneration. It is disheartening because it (wrongly) confirms and magnifies the recipient's worst fears about his or her self worth. Unfortunately, it is very effective in causing the recipient to self-censor. "Mockers inflame a city." Social media attracts mockers. I don't think it can be avoided on this platform. It takes tough skin and a healthy sense of your innate self worth to simply dismiss the mocker's words. I remind myself that I am made in the image of God, created uniquely, and beloved and by him. I run to him and he reminds me who I really am.
ReplyDelete